Is it so wrong to want an egalitarian household? One that the man thinks God has empowered me (a woman) just as much as himself? To think that just because you have a penis, you are more spiritually qualified to “hear from God” or that you the man are my conduit to God is sexist. To believe that and practice that is patriarchial. It’s a warped mental condition that you need to be delivered from. Seriously!
Perhaps you -a man- went to the recent women’s march on Washington for women’s rights. Perhaps you posted trendy pictures to show yourself down for the cause. But if you go home to a woman and still feel like your gender is a qualifier for God-given authority -on anything- especially spirituality, you are in deep contradiction with yourself.
Please, please self assess on how your mind arrived at that point. Through reflection you would uncover the fact you are a product of cultural indoctrination. Are you willing to remove your ego and the desire for power and think justice—across all lines including gender?
We are BOTH children of the creator, equipped with unique gifts and talents to contribute to doing life together. When you focus on being the best partner you can be–in support of someone else–you don’t have time to focus on who’s leading.
If we love the creator as much as we prolaim and as much as the Bible emphasizes, our greatest task is to focus on how to love, love and keep loving those around us. Who cares who’s leading? Only the man who feels entitled to power is the one emboldened to care about leading. For centuries women have been told – IN THE NAME OF GOD- that she is to be subjugated to a man, that a man is her authority, that God doesn’t empower her to lead. This partiarchial view has embedded itself in our culture and allowed the cancer of gender entitlement and abuse of all kind to ensue in our households. Yes, I’m saying that a particular (traditional) view of Christianity has been used to oppress women just as it was used to oppress “black people.” If you believe the later part of that statement, you have to accept the first part as well. Don’t be selective. Be fair.
Power is so hard to give up. A man doesn’t want to give up his power any quicker than a “white” person that benefits from power or any person–a CEO. And for a “black man,” his household may be the only place he feels power–next to church. I guess that’s why he needs to be “The King” of the castle. I can understand a woman’s desire to let him have that piece of dignity but I just hope the man I meet is secure and well-informed enough not to need that level of placation. I could go on and on about gender roles in society.
What’s even sadder to me is when women fall in line with that doctrine and way of thinking to secure a husband. To each its own. We have a right to do what works best for our lives. The thing is that I have often seen the “male authoritarian” idealogy lead women to succumbing to all types of abuse in the name of God or for the sake of a marriage. I won’t break down the variations of abuse women endure.
I’m venting but I’m realizing how difficult it will be for the average man to understand and appreciate where I’m coming from–A religiously unaffiliated, black feminist/woman that no longer cooks meat!